Potty Training

The transition from nappy to potty and eventually to toilet can be a tricky one. It's a process which demands a fine balance between encouragement and your child's comfort. We want our children to move from nappies to potties quickly, but not at the expense of their happiness.

One of the biggest problems getting started potty training is that each child takes to it differently; what worked for one parent and child won't work for another. Some children don't even need to be trained; they'll simply begin imitating older children or adults without considering that they're supposed to be kicking up a fuss about it - this is particularly true of kids with older siblings. Other children need to be begged and bribed, some children take to it immediately after long tantrums and still others take forever but never complain. It's useful to remember that you're not trying to teach your child how to use a toilet or a potty, you're teaching them to recognise the sensations in their body which are telling them they need the toilet.

When to Start

As with so much else in children's early development, the age at which you should begin potty training depends entirely on the child. Speaking generally, potty training will begin at around 1 year of age and be completed by about 3 years of age, but this is totally flexible. In fact, it seems that the process of potty training is taking longer now than ever before - in Western Europe and North America potty training can now extend well into the fourth year of your child's life and nappies are still common on children previously thought too old to be wearing them.

It's a process of trial and error, and there should be as little pressure as possible on the parent and on the child. If you're trying to wean your child off nappies and onto the potty but it's starting to turn into a battle of wills, and exchanges are becoming heated and unhappy, then stop and try again in a month or so. Parents often report that the most successful time to begin training is when the child themselves show an interest in learning; often they will enter the bathroom and close the door behind them. This would be a strong signal that your child is really interested to know what goes on in the bathroom, and how to do it themselves.

Helpful Products

There are a number of products on the market designed to ease the transition to potties. The first and most important is the potty itself. The right potty can make all the difference; if your child actually wants to sit on the potty, as opposed to thinking of the potty as an obstacle which needs to be overcome, they will find the learning curve a little smoother.

The potty needs to be stable and sturdy, so there's no risk it will tip over, especially not when your child is on it. It should be shaped and contoured for their comfort and so they fit snugly on it. It should be bright, colourful and attractive, not lifeless and sterile - more like a nursery then a doctor's surgery. It needs to be easy to empty and to clean, and it should be transportable; that way you can take it with you when you're traveling and your child will still have a familiar potty wherever they go.

Most potties on the market meet these requirements - certainly the potties here on Oliver's do - but many go above and beyond to encourage your little one to leave the nappy behind. There are potties which sing or change colour when moisture is detected; this can act as a nice incentive for your child to use to the potty. These potties tend to be a little expensive though.

Training Pants

Research suggests that the shift from nappies to potties and ultimately to the toilet should be a natural, evolutionary process, in which each of the phases are blended together, as opposed to a series of steep steps. Freud suggests that potty training is one of the most formative events in the development of the human psyche; it's the first time that a child will learn that social conventions can take precedence over bodily functions and desires. This will usually take them some time to understand. Freud believed, based on strong evidence, that too much pressure put on a child during potty training can lead to problems later in life, problems which manifest themselves as a continual striving for perfection and excessive cleanliness ('anally retentive' in the terms of Freudian psychoanalysis - a mild expression of an obsessive compulsive disorder).

So a smooth, progressive learning curve is required, and training pants can often help. The outside of training pants are cotton and look like ordinary pants, and are usually pull-up designs, but the lining is highly absorbent and will contain an accident long enough to get the potty ready. Remember that you can't go back to nappies once you've moved onto training pants; that would be harmful for the potty training process.

Potty Training Tips

There are some ways to encourage your child to use the potty without expensive gadgetry. Below are some tips which we hope will help your child become happier during potty training.

• Get your child to help choose the potty, that way they'll be more inclined to use it.
• Offer plenty of praise and encouragement when your child uses the potty successfully.
• Let them try the toilet occasionally, some kids prefer it and it's possible to skip the potty phase entirely.
• Don't get cross, don't lose your patience or your temper, and don't introduce any element of shame into the process.
• Boys tend to be slower - by as much as six months or so - when they're learning to use the potty.
• Buy clothes which can be easily and quickly removed by your child; becoming tangled in loose clothing might result in an accident.