Baby's Daily Routine

A well-defined but flexible routine is key to making the most of your time with your baby, while making them feel secure and safe at an unpredictable time in their life. The routine needs to be well-defined so that your young child is not confronted by anything distressingly unfamiliar, but flexible so that you and your baby can adapt to changing situations, environments, and requirements as and when they present themselves.

Babyhood is all about security. Your baby is experiencing a lot of things - things you and I might take for granted - for the very first time, so any security or consistency you can offer your baby will be warmly welcomed. Giving them a few things to cling to, a few reassuring patterns and things they can rely on, will positively impact their various characteristics and personality traits. A little structure will also help you budget your time effectively, and you'll certainly find you appreciate the security of a daily regime.

Birth of the Routine

The routine you'll eventually develop will probably grow organically, drawing on your needs and the needs of your baby. Your baby will develop one routine very early on; they will feel hungry, then cry, and then receive food. It's a pretty simple routine, which is why it's the first to be learned, and it's a great foundation on which you can build the rest of your day.

A few things which will be included in your routine come out of necessity. For instance, one of the first things you'll probably do in the morning is change your baby's nappy. Therefore, your baby will eventually come to associate waking up with nappy changing. You know that feeling you get when you can't find your keys in the morning, and you end up leaving the house three minutes later than you usually do? That strange panicky feeling doesn't come from the fear that you're going to be late (not primarily anyway), it comes from the break from routine. The whole time you're rushing around, you're fully aware that, rationally, it really doesn't matter if you leave the house three minutes later than usual. But that three minute difference will now affect how you feel for the rest of the day. The same applies for your baby, only more intense and more confusing. If the first thing that happens to him or her on waking each morning is that they are changed, it will be very disorienting for them if they wake up one morning and are not immediately changed. They will be expecting it immediately, and will be waiting and waiting and becoming more and more anxious the longer you go without changing them.

Spontaneity

Beware of creating a schedule so strict that it strangles any opportunities for spontaneity. If you're trying really hard to adhere to a minute-by-minute routine, you'll eventually end up putting you and your baby under unnecessary amounts of pressure, which is not what you want at all. In addition to the pressure, such a strict routine will make it difficult for you to deal with an illness that your baby has picked up or anything else which might interrupt your day. Allow for some opportunities for impulsiveness and spontaneity to liven up the day (not that it needs it!).

It's important that you listen to your baby and observe how they behave at certain times in the day. At around three months after the birth you'll know when your baby gets sleepy, when they're energetic, when they'll need to be fed and you'll even get an idea of what times they'll need to be changed without receiving any of the usual alarms. Each baby will develop their own rhythms and rituals, and you'll need to compromise your routine to cater for theirs, and compromise theirs to cater for yours. The routine is about give and take, albeit with a bit more give than take, but your baby will soon understand that you're not a milk-making machine, and that you need sleep too. Follow your baby's lead when you're developing a routine, but guide it depending on what you need to get out of the day.

Around six months after the birth, your baby's behaviour and habits will become more predictable. You can help to reinforce this predictable behaviour by introducing certain events at consistent times day to day. If you know your baby is going to be sleepy at 6pm, bathe him or her at 5:30pm. If your baby takes a nap at 11am every day, do the same yourself. Your baby will start learning to regulate themselves and prepare for the events of the day; just as you do.

When you're working on your routine, bear in mind that too much stimulation in the day will adversely affect your baby's sleep patterns probably worse then under-stimulation. But it's the balance that's important.